By Valerie Hayes
So there you are, parked on the couch, feeling like it's time to make a change, making an abstract list of goals for a new you. You’re determined not to let opportunity pass you by, but honestly you’re feeling a little stuck. Here are seven simple steps to help you get unstuck and on the way to success.
1. Pick a goal you’re passionate about. Identify something that would make you happier or your life easier every single day. Maybe it’s something you’ve always dreamed of doing or something that really annoys you on a daily basis. If you’re really passionate about your resolution you’re more likely to stick to that goal for the long haul.
2. Take action today. Right now, absolutely right now, write down three actions you can take to help you meet your new goal. Taking immediate action will not only get you off the couch, but it will help you feel in control of your destiny.
3. Get yourself an expert. Find a coach, buy a book, research the Internet, get an instructional CD, or ask a friend. Find someone who knows more about the topic of your goal than you do and learn as much as you can. Information really is power.
4. Take baby steps. Often we are so anxious to get to our goal that we have unrealistic expectations. Most people overestimate what they can get done in a week, but underestimate what they can accomplish in a year. Break your goal down into baby steps and get started. Just like learning to walk, once you get your footing your confidence will increase and you will naturally gain speed.
5. Do your best impression of a tortoise. Not only should you take baby steps, but just keep taking them over, and over, and over. There are moments when you’ll be discouraged; hang in there. Always keep moving towards your goal. When it comes to getting unstuck, slow and steady really does win the race.
6. Keep your goals visible and visualize your goals. Write down you new goal and put it somewhere where you can see it on a regular basis. (I print my goals out in a caligraphy font and put them in a beautiful gold frame in my office.) Every time you read the note, visualize yourself in a specific situation having achieved your goal. Imagine how excited you will feel when you’ve finally arrived. It’s no coincidence that 90% of medal-winning Olympic athletes practice visualization of their goals. If it works for them, it can work for you too.
7. Surround yourself with a support network. Tell family and friends about your new goal. Make sure you only tell people that you think will be supportive, not “doomsday” friends. Successful people surround themselves with other successful people. It’s a positive cycle you can use to your advantage.
Okay, so back away from the computer, pry yourself off the chair, get started with #1 and just keep on going. Just keep on chipping away and don't stop until you've accomplished your goals and created your own personal vision of success!
Valerie Hayes is an entrepreneur who survived a corporate layoff by starting her own consulting practice using only cash on hand, her laptop computer, and readily available resources. Within two years she had matched her corporate salary, was writing for national magazines, and was featured on MTV. She accomplished all this while working a part-time schedule from her home office! Now she offers her simple strategies to others looking to create their own vision of success. Please visit her website at HayesSuccess.com.
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Showing posts with label Success. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Success. Show all posts
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Seeing is Believing, or Is It?
(excerpted from The Seeds of Greatness Treasury)
When your eyes are open, you see the world that lies outside yourself. You see the items of the room you're in, the people, and the view of the landscape through the window. You take for granted that the objects are real and separate from yourself.
However, successful individuals see the act of achieving in advance -- vivid, multidimensional, clear. Champions know that "What you see, is who you'll be."
When you close your eyes, images and thoughts flow through your mind. You may review memories of past events, or preview future possibilities. You can daydream about what may be or what might have been, and your imagination will take you beyond the limits of space and time.
Most people attach little importance to these inner visions. They may seem pleasantly irrelevant, or uncomfortably at odds with the accepted external reality.
If you're like most people, you grew up with the idea that "Seeing is Believing." In other words, you need tophysically see something with your own eyes to believe that it's real.
I know many successful individuals who live this way.
But there's an attitude that suggests, "Before you can see it, you have to believe it." This premise holds that ourbelief system is so powerful that thoughts can actually cause things to happen in the physical world.
I also know many successful individuals who live according to this notion of reality.
So which concept is nearer the truth? Do you have to see it before you believe it, or believe before you can see it? The answer is: both are basically true.
If you can see something in your mind's eye, and you imagine it over and over again, you will begin to believe it is really there in substance. As a result, your actions, both physical and mental, will move to bring about in reality the image you are visualizing.
During my university years at the U. S. Naval Academy at Annapolis, I underwent training in aircraft recognition. All of us midshipmen sat at one end of a hall while silhouettes of American and foreign military aircraft were flashed on a screen at speeds similar to combat situations.
We were supposed to write down the numerical designations and names of the planes, such as A-4, F-ll-F, F-4, MIG-21, and so forth. But the task became more difficult each week, because they kept adding more planes, scrambling the order, and speeding up the projection.
Finally, it got ridiculous, because the images were going by faster than an MTV music video so that most of us saw only a blur, and some didn't see anything. I began to see planes that weren't even invented yet.
When it came time for the final exam, I didn't know for certain which planes I was seeing. I wrote down hunches, intuitions, and reflex responses. But when the test results were announced, virtually everyone had scored a perfect 100 percent.
We had seen the planes, even if we didn't necessarily believe it. For me, that test proved that images can bestored and retained, unconsciously, at incredible speeds. And those stored images, when recalled, can enhanceperformance.
What about the thousands of flickering images we see on a TV, computer or movie screen? What about commercials? Do we have to believe the products really do all those amazing things before we buy them?
Do viewers have to think that violent scenes in movies and TV are actually occurring in real life for there to be anegative effect on their behavior? Many people believe that violent fantasy has no impact on their lives whatsoever, because they think they're too intelligent to be swayed by it.
Well, I've got news for them. Whatever you see or experience, real or imagined, consciously or subliminally,when repeated vividly over and over, does affect your behavior, and definitely can influence you to buy a product or buy into a lifestyle, good or bad.
Your attitude and beliefs are, quite simply, functions of what you see day in and day out. Information can be taken in almost unnoticed. You won't react to it until later, and you still won't be aware of what lies behind your response. In other words, what you see really is what you get, regardless of whether you know it or not.
You don't need to be watching slides of airplanes, or TV shows, or music videos, video games, or commercials. You can be just lying down, or commuting to work, or walking through a park, and by seeing from within, in your mind's eye, you can change your life.
By rehashing fears and problems, you can make yourself depressed. As a result you can botch a business deal, hurt a relationship, or lower your performance. By forecasting a gloomy outcome in your mind's eye, you can act as your own witch doctor and practice a modern-day kind of voodoo that will fulfill your negative prediction with uncanny accuracy.
On the other hand, by replaying in your mind's eye the best game you ever played, you can repeat that best game again, when the stakes are even higher and the pressure is on. And by mentally pre-playing the best game you've ever imagined, you can set the stage for a world-class performance.
This "instant replay" and "instant pre-play" applies to anything from a successful sales call or athletic event tothe effective motivation of your teammates and children.
Choose your role models and inputs carefully. Your attitudes and beliefs are the software programs driving you every day on life's journey.
Written by Denis Waitley. To receive Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, and to learn about his new program The Platinum Collection - Healthy, Wealthy & Wise visit http://www.getmotivation.com/qk.cgi/denis-waitley
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When your eyes are open, you see the world that lies outside yourself. You see the items of the room you're in, the people, and the view of the landscape through the window. You take for granted that the objects are real and separate from yourself.
However, successful individuals see the act of achieving in advance -- vivid, multidimensional, clear. Champions know that "What you see, is who you'll be."
When you close your eyes, images and thoughts flow through your mind. You may review memories of past events, or preview future possibilities. You can daydream about what may be or what might have been, and your imagination will take you beyond the limits of space and time.
Most people attach little importance to these inner visions. They may seem pleasantly irrelevant, or uncomfortably at odds with the accepted external reality.
If you're like most people, you grew up with the idea that "Seeing is Believing." In other words, you need tophysically see something with your own eyes to believe that it's real.
I know many successful individuals who live this way.
But there's an attitude that suggests, "Before you can see it, you have to believe it." This premise holds that ourbelief system is so powerful that thoughts can actually cause things to happen in the physical world.
I also know many successful individuals who live according to this notion of reality.
So which concept is nearer the truth? Do you have to see it before you believe it, or believe before you can see it? The answer is: both are basically true.
If you can see something in your mind's eye, and you imagine it over and over again, you will begin to believe it is really there in substance. As a result, your actions, both physical and mental, will move to bring about in reality the image you are visualizing.
During my university years at the U. S. Naval Academy at Annapolis, I underwent training in aircraft recognition. All of us midshipmen sat at one end of a hall while silhouettes of American and foreign military aircraft were flashed on a screen at speeds similar to combat situations.
We were supposed to write down the numerical designations and names of the planes, such as A-4, F-ll-F, F-4, MIG-21, and so forth. But the task became more difficult each week, because they kept adding more planes, scrambling the order, and speeding up the projection.
Finally, it got ridiculous, because the images were going by faster than an MTV music video so that most of us saw only a blur, and some didn't see anything. I began to see planes that weren't even invented yet.
When it came time for the final exam, I didn't know for certain which planes I was seeing. I wrote down hunches, intuitions, and reflex responses. But when the test results were announced, virtually everyone had scored a perfect 100 percent.
We had seen the planes, even if we didn't necessarily believe it. For me, that test proved that images can bestored and retained, unconsciously, at incredible speeds. And those stored images, when recalled, can enhanceperformance.
What about the thousands of flickering images we see on a TV, computer or movie screen? What about commercials? Do we have to believe the products really do all those amazing things before we buy them?
Do viewers have to think that violent scenes in movies and TV are actually occurring in real life for there to be anegative effect on their behavior? Many people believe that violent fantasy has no impact on their lives whatsoever, because they think they're too intelligent to be swayed by it.
Well, I've got news for them. Whatever you see or experience, real or imagined, consciously or subliminally,when repeated vividly over and over, does affect your behavior, and definitely can influence you to buy a product or buy into a lifestyle, good or bad.
Your attitude and beliefs are, quite simply, functions of what you see day in and day out. Information can be taken in almost unnoticed. You won't react to it until later, and you still won't be aware of what lies behind your response. In other words, what you see really is what you get, regardless of whether you know it or not.
You don't need to be watching slides of airplanes, or TV shows, or music videos, video games, or commercials. You can be just lying down, or commuting to work, or walking through a park, and by seeing from within, in your mind's eye, you can change your life.
By rehashing fears and problems, you can make yourself depressed. As a result you can botch a business deal, hurt a relationship, or lower your performance. By forecasting a gloomy outcome in your mind's eye, you can act as your own witch doctor and practice a modern-day kind of voodoo that will fulfill your negative prediction with uncanny accuracy.
On the other hand, by replaying in your mind's eye the best game you ever played, you can repeat that best game again, when the stakes are even higher and the pressure is on. And by mentally pre-playing the best game you've ever imagined, you can set the stage for a world-class performance.
This "instant replay" and "instant pre-play" applies to anything from a successful sales call or athletic event tothe effective motivation of your teammates and children.
Choose your role models and inputs carefully. Your attitudes and beliefs are the software programs driving you every day on life's journey.
Written by Denis Waitley. To receive Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, and to learn about his new program The Platinum Collection - Healthy, Wealthy & Wise visit http://www.getmotivation.com/qk.cgi/denis-waitley
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The 5 Dots
(Excerpt from Mike Brescia's newsletter)
On the cover of this week's Sports Illustrated is Tom Brady, 2005's Sportsman of the Year.
What makes this article interesting to me is how they gave us a glimpse into the mind of the most süccessful player at the most difficult position in the last 20 years. You see, it's important to me to know how people become successfül at anything. I look for mental patterns that can be
translated into any other area of life.
To know how Tom got so good so young, so mentally tough, how this tall skinny kid got to be so successfül in the world of lightning fast 300 pounders trying to take his head off can teach me and you how to be successful at just about anything.
He said, "I didn't win this [Sportsman] award being Tom Brady the person. I won it because of the way we play football. Notice he said the way "we" play football.
He now has choices in life that most people will only ever dream about... Because he is good at doing just one thing.
The consummate team player. He "just wanted the camaraderie, to share some memories with so many other guys."
Purpose.
"I love seeing us get better," he says, "and I don't think you get better in games. The improvement comes in practice."
That is true of everything you will ever do.
When he was in high school, he and the other quarterbacks would practice a drill they called The 5 Dots. With marks on the ground, they would practice the same steps over and over and over.
Every morning before school he worked on it in his backyard.
Repetition.
Practice.
So now at just 28, he's won 3 Super Bowls, makes tens of milliöns of döllars, does what he loves doing, has a wonderful future ahead of him... And it is all because he's willing, on his own, to do the boring repetition. And loves it.
No one will ever teach you any method of changing how to succeed at anything, how to change any habit, how to develop mastery, how to quit feeling some way and start feeling another way without incredible repetition of thought.
It is impossible without it.
There is no magic wand.
You can try and try, but you will always fail.
Practicing is where you get good.
Mastery comes only after numerous missteps and failures.
So if you just think that you'll one day be able to start eating healthy after being a junk food junkie for decades and sücceed your first time out, guess again. You won't.
Sales süccess means lots of failures before you get good.
Being happy even requires practice. Imagine that.
Walking required practice.
Talking, too.
Eating even.
Remember, you used to get food all over you when you ate. Now that you are older, hopefully you're a little neater!
So when I hear people tell me every day, "I tried everything to [change something about themselves]." I know that they are not into practice.
They want a "pill."
But think about any person who is super süccessful in some area of life. They are good at something because of repetition of thought. Purpose. Drive. Focus. Practice.
It's not unfair.
It's life.
No action is possible without thoughts behind the actions. Lots of the same thoughts.
Probably for years and even decades.
If you are trying to make changes without doing the necessary practice (of the right thoughts, which creates new attitudes and beliefs), then you will always be disappointed. Decide now to "get it," to understand the logic here.
Mike Brescia
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On the cover of this week's Sports Illustrated is Tom Brady, 2005's Sportsman of the Year.
What makes this article interesting to me is how they gave us a glimpse into the mind of the most süccessful player at the most difficult position in the last 20 years. You see, it's important to me to know how people become successfül at anything. I look for mental patterns that can be
translated into any other area of life.
To know how Tom got so good so young, so mentally tough, how this tall skinny kid got to be so successfül in the world of lightning fast 300 pounders trying to take his head off can teach me and you how to be successful at just about anything.
He said, "I didn't win this [Sportsman] award being Tom Brady the person. I won it because of the way we play football. Notice he said the way "we" play football.
He now has choices in life that most people will only ever dream about... Because he is good at doing just one thing.
The consummate team player. He "just wanted the camaraderie, to share some memories with so many other guys."
Purpose.
"I love seeing us get better," he says, "and I don't think you get better in games. The improvement comes in practice."
That is true of everything you will ever do.
When he was in high school, he and the other quarterbacks would practice a drill they called The 5 Dots. With marks on the ground, they would practice the same steps over and over and over.
Every morning before school he worked on it in his backyard.
Repetition.
Practice.
So now at just 28, he's won 3 Super Bowls, makes tens of milliöns of döllars, does what he loves doing, has a wonderful future ahead of him... And it is all because he's willing, on his own, to do the boring repetition. And loves it.
No one will ever teach you any method of changing how to succeed at anything, how to change any habit, how to develop mastery, how to quit feeling some way and start feeling another way without incredible repetition of thought.
It is impossible without it.
There is no magic wand.
You can try and try, but you will always fail.
Practicing is where you get good.
Mastery comes only after numerous missteps and failures.
So if you just think that you'll one day be able to start eating healthy after being a junk food junkie for decades and sücceed your first time out, guess again. You won't.
Sales süccess means lots of failures before you get good.
Being happy even requires practice. Imagine that.
Walking required practice.
Talking, too.
Eating even.
Remember, you used to get food all over you when you ate. Now that you are older, hopefully you're a little neater!
So when I hear people tell me every day, "I tried everything to [change something about themselves]." I know that they are not into practice.
They want a "pill."
But think about any person who is super süccessful in some area of life. They are good at something because of repetition of thought. Purpose. Drive. Focus. Practice.
It's not unfair.
It's life.
No action is possible without thoughts behind the actions. Lots of the same thoughts.
Probably for years and even decades.
If you are trying to make changes without doing the necessary practice (of the right thoughts, which creates new attitudes and beliefs), then you will always be disappointed. Decide now to "get it," to understand the logic here.
Mike Brescia
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Sunday, December 11, 2005
Gratitude
"He who would be blest, let him scatter blessings." – Above Life's Turmoil
James Allen wrote this line to make his point about sowing and reaping. I’m going to use the line to make a point about the power of giving thanks, of having an “attitude of gratitude.”
The Bible, Talmud and all the great world religions include the power of gratitude in their teachings. In the Koran it is written that “If you are grateful, I will give you more.”
Indeed, sometimes it’s pretty amazing the way the universe rewards those who are grateful. It’s almost as if the Creator says “he’s thankful for what he has, let’s give him some more.”
And the opposite can also appear to be true. As if the Creator says “he’s unhappy with what he has now, so let’s not give him any more.” Sincere gratitude seems to unlock abundance in our lives.
Numerous scientific studies indicate people who are thankful for what they have are happier, have better relationships and enjoy better health --- the only reasons you need to have an attitude of gratitude.
But there are practical reasons too. In one study the participants who had been in the gratitude condition reported having made more progress toward their goals.
Americans gather this week to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday but this message is for those of all nationalities. Gratitude and Thanksgiving aren’t just once a year or even once a month things. Spending time each day giving thanks for the blessings in your life (and everyone has blessings they can count) is a great habit to develop.
Jeff Keller, author of Attitude is Everything, says, “It costs you nothing to be grateful and appreciative, yet it has a considerable impact on the quality of your life. So, don't waste another minute. Every day, reflect on the priceless gifts you've been enjoying. Openly share your gratitude with others. And, the next time somebody asks if anything great happened to you today, you'll have plenty to say!”
And that’s worth thinking about.
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James Allen wrote this line to make his point about sowing and reaping. I’m going to use the line to make a point about the power of giving thanks, of having an “attitude of gratitude.”
The Bible, Talmud and all the great world religions include the power of gratitude in their teachings. In the Koran it is written that “If you are grateful, I will give you more.”
Indeed, sometimes it’s pretty amazing the way the universe rewards those who are grateful. It’s almost as if the Creator says “he’s thankful for what he has, let’s give him some more.”
And the opposite can also appear to be true. As if the Creator says “he’s unhappy with what he has now, so let’s not give him any more.” Sincere gratitude seems to unlock abundance in our lives.
Numerous scientific studies indicate people who are thankful for what they have are happier, have better relationships and enjoy better health --- the only reasons you need to have an attitude of gratitude.
But there are practical reasons too. In one study the participants who had been in the gratitude condition reported having made more progress toward their goals.
Americans gather this week to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday but this message is for those of all nationalities. Gratitude and Thanksgiving aren’t just once a year or even once a month things. Spending time each day giving thanks for the blessings in your life (and everyone has blessings they can count) is a great habit to develop.
Jeff Keller, author of Attitude is Everything, says, “It costs you nothing to be grateful and appreciative, yet it has a considerable impact on the quality of your life. So, don't waste another minute. Every day, reflect on the priceless gifts you've been enjoying. Openly share your gratitude with others. And, the next time somebody asks if anything great happened to you today, you'll have plenty to say!”
And that’s worth thinking about.
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Friday, October 28, 2005
Prosperity Doesn't Mean Limitless Spending
For many people, old feelings of deprivation stimulate theurge to buy whatever they want in the moment.
This type of impulse buying often covers up feelings, just as overeating,drinking, or using drugs can do. Unfortunately, the shopping high doesn't last, especially when the bills come in.
People who struggle financially often think that being wealthy means being able to buy whatever you want. The fact is, those who manage to build individual fortunes usually exercise considerable spending restraint and choose instead to put disposable income aside. That's what builds surplus!
I know people with rather limited incomes who enjoy their lives and never feel deprived. They make conscious decisions about how they want to spend their money and put money aside for entertainment and trips. They also have an emergency fund.
At the same time, I know people who make substantial incomes--well over $200,000 a year, yet they feel limited and deprived because their want list is huge and no matter how many things they buy, they still want more.
One of the secrets to living a prosperous life is learning to experience the feeling of satisfaction. If you don't know how to do this, you'll always be dissatisfied with what you have and what life brings you. To learn the experience of satisfaction:
1. Think about something that satisfies you. It can be abeautiful sunset, being with someone you like, walking your dog, sitting outside on a beautiful day, looking at the stars, or anything else. It doesn't have to be anything grand. Simple and satisfying is fine.
2. Close your eyes and breath deeply while you allow the feeling of satisfaction to fill all of your cells. Try to identify the feeling of satisfaction in your body. As you do this, repeat to yourself, 'I am satisfied.'
3. Write out the words 'I am satisfied' and place them where you can see them often. When something happens during the daythat feels good to you, say, 'I am satisfied,' and allow yourself to experience the feeling. If the critical voice inyour head tries to negate your satisfaction, tell it, 'Thanksfor sharing, but we are satisfied at this moment.
'4. If you find yourself grumbling a lot about what isn't rightin your life, take a moment and think about something that satisfies you. If nothing does, then do something to change that! It's not the world that isn't working, it's the way you are looking at it.
Do you want to learn how to manage your wealth? Do you want to know how to build a wealth package to ensure prosperity for your future generations? Email Dreams Inc at verityy@yahoo.com.
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This type of impulse buying often covers up feelings, just as overeating,drinking, or using drugs can do. Unfortunately, the shopping high doesn't last, especially when the bills come in.
People who struggle financially often think that being wealthy means being able to buy whatever you want. The fact is, those who manage to build individual fortunes usually exercise considerable spending restraint and choose instead to put disposable income aside. That's what builds surplus!
I know people with rather limited incomes who enjoy their lives and never feel deprived. They make conscious decisions about how they want to spend their money and put money aside for entertainment and trips. They also have an emergency fund.
At the same time, I know people who make substantial incomes--well over $200,000 a year, yet they feel limited and deprived because their want list is huge and no matter how many things they buy, they still want more.
One of the secrets to living a prosperous life is learning to experience the feeling of satisfaction. If you don't know how to do this, you'll always be dissatisfied with what you have and what life brings you. To learn the experience of satisfaction:
1. Think about something that satisfies you. It can be abeautiful sunset, being with someone you like, walking your dog, sitting outside on a beautiful day, looking at the stars, or anything else. It doesn't have to be anything grand. Simple and satisfying is fine.
2. Close your eyes and breath deeply while you allow the feeling of satisfaction to fill all of your cells. Try to identify the feeling of satisfaction in your body. As you do this, repeat to yourself, 'I am satisfied.'
3. Write out the words 'I am satisfied' and place them where you can see them often. When something happens during the daythat feels good to you, say, 'I am satisfied,' and allow yourself to experience the feeling. If the critical voice inyour head tries to negate your satisfaction, tell it, 'Thanksfor sharing, but we are satisfied at this moment.
'4. If you find yourself grumbling a lot about what isn't rightin your life, take a moment and think about something that satisfies you. If nothing does, then do something to change that! It's not the world that isn't working, it's the way you are looking at it.
Do you want to learn how to manage your wealth? Do you want to know how to build a wealth package to ensure prosperity for your future generations? Email Dreams Inc at verityy@yahoo.com.
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Friday, October 21, 2005
A Piece of Cake!
Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?"
Here's a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple of raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"
To which the mother replies, "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
Life works the same way. Many times we wonder why we have to go through such
bad and difficult times, not being able to envision our greater surroundings. All things work together for a common good.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
Hope your day is a "piece of cake!"
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The Law of the Seed
Take a look at an apple tree.There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds.
That's a lot of seeds!
We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."
This might mean:
· You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
· You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
· You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.
· And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.
When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.
Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.
IN A NUTSHELL Successful people fail more often but they plant more seeds.
When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:
You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry.
That's what miserable people do!
On the other hand, let's say you expect that:
Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.
These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!
So you end up frustrated and disappointed.
There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences!
For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:
"I would prefer "A", but if "B" happens, it's OK too!"
This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ... You prefer that people are polite . but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine...but if it rains, it is ok too!
To become happier, we either need to change the world or change our thinking.
It is easier to change our Thinking!
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
The Michael Jordan Story
Young Michael Jordan was a head shorter then than the rest of the high school kids from the basketball team.Little wonder then that he didn’t even make it to the high school basketball team.
However, Michael loved basketball and he never stopped trying to get into the team. He kept talking to the coach to give him a chance to be on the team and he was willing to do anything to achieve that.
Today Michael Jordan is the NUMBER ONE basketball player in the world. He is also NBA’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) for 6 years and has become a player worth millions of dollars.
How did he earn so much money?
The key question is:
“Did he do it while aiming to earn millions of dollars?”
or
“Did he do it while aiming to become the NUMBER 1 basketball player in the world?”
The answer is obvious!
From young M. Jordan had always wanted to become the No 1 basketball player in the world.
He wanted to Be someone, and he is willing to Do whatever it takes to be that person. When he has done that, he will Have whatever he wants and that includes his millions worth of wealth.
His desire to become the BEST basketball player was so strong that he actually grew so much taller then when he started in the earlier years.
The same stands true in life.
Many people aim to Have big cars (E.g. Mercedes Benz), a big house, lots of cash. They then go out to Do whatever it takes to have those material stuff so that one day they can Be someone of recognition and status.
Little do they know that when they use material stuff as a goal in life, what happens instead is that instead of having a Mercedes Benz, they will start to downgrade.
Their Mercedes becomes a Honda; and their big house becomes a smaller house. The list goes on…
To summarize, all successful achievers in life start out with a goal to Be someone. They then Do what it takes to become the person and they will end up having what they dream of. Be, Do, Have!
Thus if you want to be like our Senior Minister Lee Kwan Yew, you must Do whatever he did to become who he is today. If you fail to do anything that he has done in the past that has contributed to his success today, you will definitely not end up like SM Lee, don’t you agree?
The point in this, when you do everything he has done and become SM Lee, you would then have anything you wanted to have, wouldn’t you?
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