By: Dr. Donald E. Wetmore
At the beginning of each year so many of us commit to changes and worthy goals to be accomplished in the next twelve months only to be disappointed come next December 31 when we discover we are no closer to achieving those resolutions than we were on January 1.
The noble resolutions we made early on became unstuck. So I looked at this dilemma and created four useful suggestions to increase the probability that your New Year’s resolutions will stick this year.
1. Quantify it. Sometimes we are just too vague about what we want. Therefore, a resolution such as, “I want to lose weight this year” will probably fail. It is too vague. How much weight? Be specific. What would your ideal weight be, less what do you weigh now, is what you are going after. It is not enough to resolve that; “I want enough money in the bank this year”. Quantify. What specific amount would soothe your soul?
2. Set a deadline. Resolutions that are to be achieved “as soon as possible” wind up in the heap of “Someday I’ll”. Deadlines are commitments. Without a deadline as a self-imposed pressure point, getting started is easily postponed. You see, deadlines put us on the line and define when failure occurs.
Deadlines also help us to break the resolution down into little bite-sized pieces. For example, if your goal is to lose 25 pounds by June 30, that translates into approximately 4 pounds per month, one pound per week, or a daily reduction of caloric intake (or an increase in daily caloric burn) of just 500 calories per day. Now that’s manageable. 500 calories a day is easy to achieve. 25 pounds seems like a leap across the Grand Canyon.
Until we quantify our goal, set a deadline, then break it down to its daily requirements, the resolution will forever seem unattainable.
3. Change one or two things at a time. We generally do not like change in the first place. We seek the familiar and avoid the strange. The more change you put yourself through, the higher the probability your campaign will collapse.
Focus in on one or two of the more important resolutions you seek to accomplish this year. When you achieve one or the other, start on the next one. Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much change all at once.4. Be realistic. There’s just something about the start of a new year that gets us all wound up for changes in our lives, sometimes extraordinary and unrealistic changes. We become much like the child in the candy store whose eyes are bigger than his stomach.
Be realistic. You can only accomplish a certain amount within a period of time. Don’t saddle yourself with unrealistic resolutions that will only spell failure later on.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Daily Planning – By Dr. Donald E. Wetmore
A poet once said, "The most powerful time is when you are alone, thinking about what you are to do rather than the doing itself."
You've been reminded many times, "A stitch in time saves nine."
Daily Planning is the time you ought to set aside each evening to plan out and take control over the most precious resource at your command, the next twenty-four hours. Done correctly, Daily Planning is not an expense that will cost you time but an ïnvestment that will pay you back many times over the time invested.
Herë are four important steps to follow each day during your Daily Planning time.
1. Create a To Do list of everything you "have to" do and everything you "want to" do during the next day. If you want to manage it, you have to measure it first. Add action steps to take care of your commitments and responsibilities, but also include other action items to help you to balance your life more effectively and achieve more of your goals in each of your Seven Vital Areas: health, family, financial, intellectual,social, professional, and spiritual.
2. Review every item on your To Do list and ask yourself three questïons with regard to each of item:
a. "Is this the best use of my time?" If it is, plan to do it. If itisn't, try to figure out a way to delegate it.
b. "Is there a better or more efficient way of handling or completing this item?" For example, combining telephone calls and making them alltogether.
c. "Is there anything I can do in advance to prepare for this task?" Do you need supplies or information from another to get it done? Most of the time I cannot delegate my tasks, find a better way to do it, or do anything to better prepare for it, but I can always find a few ways to improve. Whatever those improvements are, add them to your To Do list as action items
3. Review any Appointments and Scheduled events you have planned for the next day and ask yourself the same three questïons you asked in step #2above. As you review each commitment, determine if it is the best use ofyour time. Maybe you are scheduled to attend a meeting that has little value to you. Try to get excused. See if there is a better way to handle each commitment. For example, instead of actually meeting with someone, are you able to fax, email, or call that person instead? Can you do anything to better prepare for it? If you have a doctor's appointment, are there questïons you can write down to ask the doctor. Whatever these improvements are, add them to your To Do list as actions items.
4. Prioritize your To Do list. Place the number "1" next to the most important item on your list. Place the number "2" next to the second most important item. Continue prioritizing the entire list. You nöw have a ToDo list of all the items you "have to" do, but more importantly, all the items you "want to" do, including action items to help you achieve your goals and better life balance, and make your appointments and scheduled events and To Do list items flow more smoothly.
The process of Daily Planning will save you more time in the long run than what you spend to do it and will increase your daily productivity each day.
You've been reminded many times, "A stitch in time saves nine."
Daily Planning is the time you ought to set aside each evening to plan out and take control over the most precious resource at your command, the next twenty-four hours. Done correctly, Daily Planning is not an expense that will cost you time but an ïnvestment that will pay you back many times over the time invested.
Herë are four important steps to follow each day during your Daily Planning time.
1. Create a To Do list of everything you "have to" do and everything you "want to" do during the next day. If you want to manage it, you have to measure it first. Add action steps to take care of your commitments and responsibilities, but also include other action items to help you to balance your life more effectively and achieve more of your goals in each of your Seven Vital Areas: health, family, financial, intellectual,social, professional, and spiritual.
2. Review every item on your To Do list and ask yourself three questïons with regard to each of item:
a. "Is this the best use of my time?" If it is, plan to do it. If itisn't, try to figure out a way to delegate it.
b. "Is there a better or more efficient way of handling or completing this item?" For example, combining telephone calls and making them alltogether.
c. "Is there anything I can do in advance to prepare for this task?" Do you need supplies or information from another to get it done? Most of the time I cannot delegate my tasks, find a better way to do it, or do anything to better prepare for it, but I can always find a few ways to improve. Whatever those improvements are, add them to your To Do list as action items
3. Review any Appointments and Scheduled events you have planned for the next day and ask yourself the same three questïons you asked in step #2above. As you review each commitment, determine if it is the best use ofyour time. Maybe you are scheduled to attend a meeting that has little value to you. Try to get excused. See if there is a better way to handle each commitment. For example, instead of actually meeting with someone, are you able to fax, email, or call that person instead? Can you do anything to better prepare for it? If you have a doctor's appointment, are there questïons you can write down to ask the doctor. Whatever these improvements are, add them to your To Do list as actions items.
4. Prioritize your To Do list. Place the number "1" next to the most important item on your list. Place the number "2" next to the second most important item. Continue prioritizing the entire list. You nöw have a ToDo list of all the items you "have to" do, but more importantly, all the items you "want to" do, including action items to help you achieve your goals and better life balance, and make your appointments and scheduled events and To Do list items flow more smoothly.
The process of Daily Planning will save you more time in the long run than what you spend to do it and will increase your daily productivity each day.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The 5 Dots
(Excerpt from Mike Brescia's newsletter)
On the cover of this week's Sports Illustrated is Tom Brady, 2005's Sportsman of the Year.
What makes this article interesting to me is how they gave us a glimpse into the mind of the most süccessful player at the most difficult position in the last 20 years. You see, it's important to me to know how people become successfül at anything. I look for mental patterns that can be
translated into any other area of life.
To know how Tom got so good so young, so mentally tough, how this tall skinny kid got to be so successfül in the world of lightning fast 300 pounders trying to take his head off can teach me and you how to be successful at just about anything.
He said, "I didn't win this [Sportsman] award being Tom Brady the person. I won it because of the way we play football. Notice he said the way "we" play football.
He now has choices in life that most people will only ever dream about... Because he is good at doing just one thing.
The consummate team player. He "just wanted the camaraderie, to share some memories with so many other guys."
Purpose.
"I love seeing us get better," he says, "and I don't think you get better in games. The improvement comes in practice."
That is true of everything you will ever do.
When he was in high school, he and the other quarterbacks would practice a drill they called The 5 Dots. With marks on the ground, they would practice the same steps over and over and over.
Every morning before school he worked on it in his backyard.
Repetition.
Practice.
So now at just 28, he's won 3 Super Bowls, makes tens of milliöns of döllars, does what he loves doing, has a wonderful future ahead of him... And it is all because he's willing, on his own, to do the boring repetition. And loves it.
No one will ever teach you any method of changing how to succeed at anything, how to change any habit, how to develop mastery, how to quit feeling some way and start feeling another way without incredible repetition of thought.
It is impossible without it.
There is no magic wand.
You can try and try, but you will always fail.
Practicing is where you get good.
Mastery comes only after numerous missteps and failures.
So if you just think that you'll one day be able to start eating healthy after being a junk food junkie for decades and sücceed your first time out, guess again. You won't.
Sales süccess means lots of failures before you get good.
Being happy even requires practice. Imagine that.
Walking required practice.
Talking, too.
Eating even.
Remember, you used to get food all over you when you ate. Now that you are older, hopefully you're a little neater!
So when I hear people tell me every day, "I tried everything to [change something about themselves]." I know that they are not into practice.
They want a "pill."
But think about any person who is super süccessful in some area of life. They are good at something because of repetition of thought. Purpose. Drive. Focus. Practice.
It's not unfair.
It's life.
No action is possible without thoughts behind the actions. Lots of the same thoughts.
Probably for years and even decades.
If you are trying to make changes without doing the necessary practice (of the right thoughts, which creates new attitudes and beliefs), then you will always be disappointed. Decide now to "get it," to understand the logic here.
Mike Brescia
Back to MAIN
On the cover of this week's Sports Illustrated is Tom Brady, 2005's Sportsman of the Year.
What makes this article interesting to me is how they gave us a glimpse into the mind of the most süccessful player at the most difficult position in the last 20 years. You see, it's important to me to know how people become successfül at anything. I look for mental patterns that can be
translated into any other area of life.
To know how Tom got so good so young, so mentally tough, how this tall skinny kid got to be so successfül in the world of lightning fast 300 pounders trying to take his head off can teach me and you how to be successful at just about anything.
He said, "I didn't win this [Sportsman] award being Tom Brady the person. I won it because of the way we play football. Notice he said the way "we" play football.
He now has choices in life that most people will only ever dream about... Because he is good at doing just one thing.
The consummate team player. He "just wanted the camaraderie, to share some memories with so many other guys."
Purpose.
"I love seeing us get better," he says, "and I don't think you get better in games. The improvement comes in practice."
That is true of everything you will ever do.
When he was in high school, he and the other quarterbacks would practice a drill they called The 5 Dots. With marks on the ground, they would practice the same steps over and over and over.
Every morning before school he worked on it in his backyard.
Repetition.
Practice.
So now at just 28, he's won 3 Super Bowls, makes tens of milliöns of döllars, does what he loves doing, has a wonderful future ahead of him... And it is all because he's willing, on his own, to do the boring repetition. And loves it.
No one will ever teach you any method of changing how to succeed at anything, how to change any habit, how to develop mastery, how to quit feeling some way and start feeling another way without incredible repetition of thought.
It is impossible without it.
There is no magic wand.
You can try and try, but you will always fail.
Practicing is where you get good.
Mastery comes only after numerous missteps and failures.
So if you just think that you'll one day be able to start eating healthy after being a junk food junkie for decades and sücceed your first time out, guess again. You won't.
Sales süccess means lots of failures before you get good.
Being happy even requires practice. Imagine that.
Walking required practice.
Talking, too.
Eating even.
Remember, you used to get food all over you when you ate. Now that you are older, hopefully you're a little neater!
So when I hear people tell me every day, "I tried everything to [change something about themselves]." I know that they are not into practice.
They want a "pill."
But think about any person who is super süccessful in some area of life. They are good at something because of repetition of thought. Purpose. Drive. Focus. Practice.
It's not unfair.
It's life.
No action is possible without thoughts behind the actions. Lots of the same thoughts.
Probably for years and even decades.
If you are trying to make changes without doing the necessary practice (of the right thoughts, which creates new attitudes and beliefs), then you will always be disappointed. Decide now to "get it," to understand the logic here.
Mike Brescia
Back to MAIN
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Gratitude
"He who would be blest, let him scatter blessings." – Above Life's Turmoil
James Allen wrote this line to make his point about sowing and reaping. I’m going to use the line to make a point about the power of giving thanks, of having an “attitude of gratitude.”
The Bible, Talmud and all the great world religions include the power of gratitude in their teachings. In the Koran it is written that “If you are grateful, I will give you more.”
Indeed, sometimes it’s pretty amazing the way the universe rewards those who are grateful. It’s almost as if the Creator says “he’s thankful for what he has, let’s give him some more.”
And the opposite can also appear to be true. As if the Creator says “he’s unhappy with what he has now, so let’s not give him any more.” Sincere gratitude seems to unlock abundance in our lives.
Numerous scientific studies indicate people who are thankful for what they have are happier, have better relationships and enjoy better health --- the only reasons you need to have an attitude of gratitude.
But there are practical reasons too. In one study the participants who had been in the gratitude condition reported having made more progress toward their goals.
Americans gather this week to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday but this message is for those of all nationalities. Gratitude and Thanksgiving aren’t just once a year or even once a month things. Spending time each day giving thanks for the blessings in your life (and everyone has blessings they can count) is a great habit to develop.
Jeff Keller, author of Attitude is Everything, says, “It costs you nothing to be grateful and appreciative, yet it has a considerable impact on the quality of your life. So, don't waste another minute. Every day, reflect on the priceless gifts you've been enjoying. Openly share your gratitude with others. And, the next time somebody asks if anything great happened to you today, you'll have plenty to say!”
And that’s worth thinking about.
Back to Main
.
.
James Allen wrote this line to make his point about sowing and reaping. I’m going to use the line to make a point about the power of giving thanks, of having an “attitude of gratitude.”
The Bible, Talmud and all the great world religions include the power of gratitude in their teachings. In the Koran it is written that “If you are grateful, I will give you more.”
Indeed, sometimes it’s pretty amazing the way the universe rewards those who are grateful. It’s almost as if the Creator says “he’s thankful for what he has, let’s give him some more.”
And the opposite can also appear to be true. As if the Creator says “he’s unhappy with what he has now, so let’s not give him any more.” Sincere gratitude seems to unlock abundance in our lives.
Numerous scientific studies indicate people who are thankful for what they have are happier, have better relationships and enjoy better health --- the only reasons you need to have an attitude of gratitude.
But there are practical reasons too. In one study the participants who had been in the gratitude condition reported having made more progress toward their goals.
Americans gather this week to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday but this message is for those of all nationalities. Gratitude and Thanksgiving aren’t just once a year or even once a month things. Spending time each day giving thanks for the blessings in your life (and everyone has blessings they can count) is a great habit to develop.
Jeff Keller, author of Attitude is Everything, says, “It costs you nothing to be grateful and appreciative, yet it has a considerable impact on the quality of your life. So, don't waste another minute. Every day, reflect on the priceless gifts you've been enjoying. Openly share your gratitude with others. And, the next time somebody asks if anything great happened to you today, you'll have plenty to say!”
And that’s worth thinking about.
Back to Main
.
.
Friday, November 25, 2005
What The Result Says About Your Body
A detox program usually a few days to three weeks.
Many people feel mentally and physically rejuvenated and notice improvements in weight loss, digestion, mental clarity, allergies, frequency of infection, energy, and severity of symptoms.
A higher score suggests a greater need for a detox. For a safer detox program, it is recommended you have someone to guide you along.
If you do decide to try a detox program, you may email me at verityy@yahoo.com.
0-4 YES
You are doing quite well. A detox will help you keep prevention.
If you are keen to go on a detox to help prevention, email me at verityy@yahoo.com.
5-8 YES
Diet and lifestyle changes may not be enough to help your body. Your body is already showing signs that it cannot cope with the toxins accumulated in your body by itself. A detox program may help you heal.
If you are keen to go on a detox to get rid of the accumulated toxins, email me at verityy@yahoo.com.
9-12 YES
You need to free your body of all the extra toxins so that it can not just heal but also function at optimal level to ensure higher energy, better skin and better health! Continue your current lifestyle and you may experience more aches and lethargy as you age!
Email me for a personal appointment FOC at verityy@yahoo.com about how to detox!
13-16 YES
Your body is badly congested and is showing signs that it needs a detox!
Don't wait! Email me for a personal appointment FOC at verityy@yahoo.com!
Many people feel mentally and physically rejuvenated and notice improvements in weight loss, digestion, mental clarity, allergies, frequency of infection, energy, and severity of symptoms.
A higher score suggests a greater need for a detox. For a safer detox program, it is recommended you have someone to guide you along.
If you do decide to try a detox program, you may email me at verityy@yahoo.com.
----------------------------------------------
0-4 YES
You are doing quite well. A detox will help you keep prevention.
If you are keen to go on a detox to help prevention, email me at verityy@yahoo.com.
5-8 YES
Diet and lifestyle changes may not be enough to help your body. Your body is already showing signs that it cannot cope with the toxins accumulated in your body by itself. A detox program may help you heal.
If you are keen to go on a detox to get rid of the accumulated toxins, email me at verityy@yahoo.com.
9-12 YES
You need to free your body of all the extra toxins so that it can not just heal but also function at optimal level to ensure higher energy, better skin and better health! Continue your current lifestyle and you may experience more aches and lethargy as you age!
Email me for a personal appointment FOC at verityy@yahoo.com about how to detox!
13-16 YES
Your body is badly congested and is showing signs that it needs a detox!
Don't wait! Email me for a personal appointment FOC at verityy@yahoo.com!
Detox Quiz
Processed food, coffee, bad fats, food allergies, chemicals, or harmful bacteria can interfere with the optimum function of our cells, tissues, and organs and worsen health problems.
Want to know if you need to make diet and lifestyle changes and use a detox diet periodically to improve your health? Take the following quiz and calculate how many YESes and NOs you have collected.
Want to know if you need to make diet and lifestyle changes and use a detox diet periodically to improve your health? Take the following quiz and calculate how many YESes and NOs you have collected.
- Do you often feel tired, sluggish, or lethargic?
- Do you have difficulty concentrating or staying focused?
- Do you catch colds easily?
- Do you have bad breath?
- Do you tend to get congested, stuffed-up, or post-nasal drip.
- Do you have unpleasant odors when you are not using deodorant?
- Do you have bloating, gas or indigestion after eating?
- Do you usually have dark circles under your eyes?
- Do you have allergies?
- Do you have eczema, acne, or psoriasis?
- Do you often go for more than one day without having a bowel movement?
- Do you smoke or spend a lot of time around people who do?
- Do you drink less than 3 cups of water a day?
- Do you eat meat more than 2 times a day?
- Do you tend to get bloated and puffy?
- Do you eat less than 1 serving of vegetables a day (1 serving= 1/2 cup cooked, potatoes and other starchy vegetables not included)?
How many YES did you have?
Click HERE to find out what it means...
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
lStress Is A Disease
Stress is a disease that can be partially cured.
Here are a few thoughts that may help you live more in peace with yourself.
1. They say that 'primordial stress' is related to our unspoken fear of dying, of the end of life. But is it really dying that we are afraid of? No, because we don't know what dying really is. With the end of our existence also comes the end of consciousness and sensation, and so how can we know anything of dying?
2. Stress is generated by a fear of not being perfect. So, you believe you are perfect, do you? Well, you should know that you have never been perfect, because your lack of modesty allowed you to think that you were. And there can be no perfection where there is a lack!
3. Stress comes from being afraid that you can't get everything done on time. Time, like space, is an extendable dimension. It is one of those rare commodities that can be bestowed almost without limit. Remember that nothing grand or beautiful was ever accomplished in a day.
4. Stress comes from fearing that you do not correspond to the self image you want to project. The eye does not see the object itself, but the image of the object. You too are just a reflection in other people's eyes. They will never see you as you really are, no matter how hard they try. So why worry?
5. Stress arises when you don't know how to say no. You do know how to say no. Do you need proof? Well, the fact that you are alive and reading these lines means that you have succeeded in saying no many times, both with your body and with your mind. That's because living means refusing to die, day after day. (
c)2005, www.club-positif.com
You can start lowering your stress level starting today. All you have to do is choose your priorities!
"Anxiety is the vertigo of liberty." S. Kierkegaard
Return to MAIN
Here are a few thoughts that may help you live more in peace with yourself.
1. They say that 'primordial stress' is related to our unspoken fear of dying, of the end of life. But is it really dying that we are afraid of? No, because we don't know what dying really is. With the end of our existence also comes the end of consciousness and sensation, and so how can we know anything of dying?
2. Stress is generated by a fear of not being perfect. So, you believe you are perfect, do you? Well, you should know that you have never been perfect, because your lack of modesty allowed you to think that you were. And there can be no perfection where there is a lack!
3. Stress comes from being afraid that you can't get everything done on time. Time, like space, is an extendable dimension. It is one of those rare commodities that can be bestowed almost without limit. Remember that nothing grand or beautiful was ever accomplished in a day.
4. Stress comes from fearing that you do not correspond to the self image you want to project. The eye does not see the object itself, but the image of the object. You too are just a reflection in other people's eyes. They will never see you as you really are, no matter how hard they try. So why worry?
5. Stress arises when you don't know how to say no. You do know how to say no. Do you need proof? Well, the fact that you are alive and reading these lines means that you have succeeded in saying no many times, both with your body and with your mind. That's because living means refusing to die, day after day. (
c)2005, www.club-positif.com
You can start lowering your stress level starting today. All you have to do is choose your priorities!
"Anxiety is the vertigo of liberty." S. Kierkegaard
Return to MAIN
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Communicate Better to Wïn More
Communicating is a constant in all negotiations; in all interaction for that matter.
Understanding the dynamics of effective communications tosettle conflict is an important aspect of managing the negotiation process.
The challenge to communications during any conflict situation is that listening is typically impaired. Those involved, even when they do listen, are not apt to hear what is being said.
To reach an accord the parties need to be able to communicate with each other.
The first rule of any negotiation is to open channels of communication.
Communication concepts are important to understanding human interaction.
- Learn to listen:
The ability to effectively state your message is obviously important. But the ability to clearly hear the other person's message is equally important to reaching an accord.
Everyone should work at developing effective, interactive listening skills. When the other person is talking, you have the chance to learn something (if you are listening to what they are saying rather than thinking about what you are going to say).
- Learn to Observe:
Observing other people while talking enables you tomake sure they are awake, alert and interested. If not, regroup and find away to get them personally involved in the conversation.
When speaking, you are responsible to make sure the others are listening. Verify this by observing the non-verbal reactions to what you say. You are looking to see if they are thinking of something else, if they are planning what next to say, or if they are just asleep!
- Take Responsibility: It is important that you are being heard and understood. We all know the game of telephone. Appreciate that the other person will likely have to review what was said today with others. It is your goal that he or she be able to clearly restate your case as you intend it to be heard. So proactive speaking is an essential tool when negotiating.
There are simple ways to keep the other person interested and attentive to you:
1. Pepper your comments with questïons designed to draw them into the discussion. By being involved in the dialogue, they will have to considerwhat they are saying. And when they speak, it is your turn to listen. They may reveal something of value.
2. Use silence to draw their attention. Pause before an important pointy ou are about to make and let the silence grow until they take notice. Then proceed knowing you have their attention at the moment.
3. Use questïons to reinforce their understanding of what you have said. Ask their opinion of a point you just made. If they have missed the point, restate it. You won't have as good a chance to reinforce what you have said once they leave the meeting.
If you aren't clearly understood, what chance do you have?
About the Eric Jones: The author is an assistant editor at How-to-Negotiate.com, a sitefeaturing articles about organizational skills required in the disputesettlement process and how people negotiate everything in their dailylives be it personal issues, parenting matters, social conflicts, orbusiness or work related challenges. The site promotes the fact thatconflict is a natural aspect of everyone's life and we should all work atimproving our ability to negotiate the curves life throws our way.http://how-to-negotiate.com/
Understanding the dynamics of effective communications tosettle conflict is an important aspect of managing the negotiation process.
The challenge to communications during any conflict situation is that listening is typically impaired. Those involved, even when they do listen, are not apt to hear what is being said.
To reach an accord the parties need to be able to communicate with each other.
The first rule of any negotiation is to open channels of communication.
Communication concepts are important to understanding human interaction.
- Learn to listen:
The ability to effectively state your message is obviously important. But the ability to clearly hear the other person's message is equally important to reaching an accord.
Everyone should work at developing effective, interactive listening skills. When the other person is talking, you have the chance to learn something (if you are listening to what they are saying rather than thinking about what you are going to say).
- Learn to Observe:
Observing other people while talking enables you tomake sure they are awake, alert and interested. If not, regroup and find away to get them personally involved in the conversation.
When speaking, you are responsible to make sure the others are listening. Verify this by observing the non-verbal reactions to what you say. You are looking to see if they are thinking of something else, if they are planning what next to say, or if they are just asleep!
- Take Responsibility: It is important that you are being heard and understood. We all know the game of telephone. Appreciate that the other person will likely have to review what was said today with others. It is your goal that he or she be able to clearly restate your case as you intend it to be heard. So proactive speaking is an essential tool when negotiating.
There are simple ways to keep the other person interested and attentive to you:
1. Pepper your comments with questïons designed to draw them into the discussion. By being involved in the dialogue, they will have to considerwhat they are saying. And when they speak, it is your turn to listen. They may reveal something of value.
2. Use silence to draw their attention. Pause before an important pointy ou are about to make and let the silence grow until they take notice. Then proceed knowing you have their attention at the moment.
3. Use questïons to reinforce their understanding of what you have said. Ask their opinion of a point you just made. If they have missed the point, restate it. You won't have as good a chance to reinforce what you have said once they leave the meeting.
If you aren't clearly understood, what chance do you have?
About the Eric Jones: The author is an assistant editor at How-to-Negotiate.com, a sitefeaturing articles about organizational skills required in the disputesettlement process and how people negotiate everything in their dailylives be it personal issues, parenting matters, social conflicts, orbusiness or work related challenges. The site promotes the fact thatconflict is a natural aspect of everyone's life and we should all work atimproving our ability to negotiate the curves life throws our way.http://how-to-negotiate.com/
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Germaine's Wedding Pics
Our Dreams Inc hero and heroine, Melvin and Germaine (See how Germaine looked like BEFORE) have gotten married on 5 November 2005 after 10 years of courtship!
Elastigirl Angel slips into the role of a 'jie mei' and goes undercover to bring you the scoop of the daytime highlights!
Germaine starts making u in the morning...
Ta da! Fully made up...
Melvin arrives but say no ang pow for 'sisters'..
First TREAT of the day: Lime Juice!
Second TREAT: Wasabe toothpaste!
Melvin gamely brushes his teeth! Anything for Germaine!
Finally passes through the door!
And gets the bride...
At ROM.. exchanging rings...
Exchanging their vows..
And of cos.. exchanging a passionate kiss!!!
Proud parents on both sides...
Let's take some pics first!
Smile... say CHEEEESE...
Stylo mylo 'brothers'... no prizes for noticing Mr Incredible Maximus...
Melvin is a natural when posing man...
Jie meis pose for the camera ;)
Everybody also mei mei...
Must serve tea liao...
Onward to take more pics...
Welcome to SIngapore Expo...
First stop, Coffeebean..
Next stop, ballroom...
Then we wait for the MRT...
And pose while waiting...
Tada! Special boh? Take wedding pics on MRT.. hahaha
Reach home liao...
Time to remove the veil...
And change into the KUA...
Elastigirl Angel and Edna Germaine posing.. wonder if Edna designed this.. hiaks ;)
Thier wedding photos...
Meimei right?!
Isn't she a lovely bride?!
All brides-to-be red alert!!!! If you want to lose a few kg before your wedding and be gorgeous like Germaine, contact Dreams Inc at anglepeng@richnyang.com!
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Elastigirl Angel slips into the role of a 'jie mei' and goes undercover to bring you the scoop of the daytime highlights!
Germaine starts making u in the morning...
Ta da! Fully made up...
Melvin arrives but say no ang pow for 'sisters'..
First TREAT of the day: Lime Juice!
Second TREAT: Wasabe toothpaste!
Melvin gamely brushes his teeth! Anything for Germaine!
Finally passes through the door!
And gets the bride...
At ROM.. exchanging rings...
Exchanging their vows..
And of cos.. exchanging a passionate kiss!!!
Proud parents on both sides...
Let's take some pics first!
Smile... say CHEEEESE...
Stylo mylo 'brothers'... no prizes for noticing Mr Incredible Maximus...
Melvin is a natural when posing man...
Jie meis pose for the camera ;)
Everybody also mei mei...
Must serve tea liao...
Onward to take more pics...
Welcome to SIngapore Expo...
First stop, Coffeebean..
Next stop, ballroom...
Then we wait for the MRT...
And pose while waiting...
Tada! Special boh? Take wedding pics on MRT.. hahaha
Reach home liao...
Time to remove the veil...
And change into the KUA...
Elastigirl Angel and Edna Germaine posing.. wonder if Edna designed this.. hiaks ;)
Thier wedding photos...
Meimei right?!
Isn't she a lovely bride?!
All brides-to-be red alert!!!! If you want to lose a few kg before your wedding and be gorgeous like Germaine, contact Dreams Inc at anglepeng@richnyang.com!
Return to MAIN
Bobby Lost 22kg within 7 weeks!
I love to eat!My family knows this and this is why whenever they have food they don’t want to eat, they pass to me!
Supper is my favourite time of the day and as a result, I have been considered obese since I was 9 years old!
At age 18, I had to go for my NS. For the first time in my life, the 6 month Basic Military Training (BMT) for obese people made me look and feel slim. I finally understood how it was like to be slim and I must say I quite liked it because I look and feel good.
But I am the kind of person with not much discipline. Very soon after BMT ended, I went back to my pre-BMT lifestyle and my weight bounced right back!
I had very unhealthy eating habits and didn’t like to exercise. I would gulp down my food without chewing properly and I hated eating vegetables. I also tended to overeat whenever I saw my favorite foods like chicken, pork, pastry, pizza, cake, bread', buns and fried carrot cake. I love anything that is deep-fried and I am a loyal consumer to all fast food outlets in Singapore.
In less than 10 years, I got 20kg heavier and became a hefty 83kg!
I thought about losing weight but just lacked the discipline and the real desire to anything.
Then, I met Angel and her slimming mentor. She asked me how long it took me to put on this much weight and how heavy I would be if I were to give myself another 10 years.
I never really thought about it this way before. But I realized that if I should go on like that, by the time I am in the 30’s, I would be over a 100kg! Gee! That’s gross! How am I going to get a decent girlfriend/wife? How am I going to go about my daily activities? Most importantly, how am I going to get a life???
I then decided to do something about it. I followed everything that Angel and her mentor taught me to do and I lost 22kg within 7 weeks!Now, I am VERY happy!
I feel much healthier and am more confident of myself. I really enjoy dressing up the new me (fat people have not much choices in clothes). I no longer have to pant and climb up the stairs slowly. I can also swim faster and I feel energetic and filled with vitality everyday.
Family, relatives & friends said I look better and younger.
Now that I have lost so much weight, my sister who is also plumpish was also motivated to lose weight as she had no wish to become the HEAVIEST PERSON IN THE FAMILY.
And who do you think I will introduce her to? Angel of course!
Want to be like Bobby, contact us at verityy@yahoo.com.
Back to Main.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Complain About What?
Discipline at the Brunwald monastery was terribly strict.
The law of silence forced the Brothers not to talk for 10 long years. After waiting for so long, each monk had the right to say two words, but not one more.
It was Brother Hans' turn to meet with the Abbot.
"Speak Brother. I am listening," the Abbot said.
"Bed... hard," the monk replied.
"I see," said his superior.
Ten years later, Brother Hans met with the Abbot again.
"And what two words would you like to tell me?" the Abbot asked.
"Food... bad," said Brother Hans.
"I see," the Abbot sighed.
Another ten years passed and Brother Hans, kneeling once again before the Abbot, said, "I ... leave."
"Well that doesn't surprise me," the Abbot exclaimed, "since all you do is complain all the time!"
Like him, we often find ourselves complaining about things when all we really have to do is let go and take advantage of what the world has to offer.
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The law of silence forced the Brothers not to talk for 10 long years. After waiting for so long, each monk had the right to say two words, but not one more.
It was Brother Hans' turn to meet with the Abbot.
"Speak Brother. I am listening," the Abbot said.
"Bed... hard," the monk replied.
"I see," said his superior.
Ten years later, Brother Hans met with the Abbot again.
"And what two words would you like to tell me?" the Abbot asked.
"Food... bad," said Brother Hans.
"I see," the Abbot sighed.
Another ten years passed and Brother Hans, kneeling once again before the Abbot, said, "I ... leave."
"Well that doesn't surprise me," the Abbot exclaimed, "since all you do is complain all the time!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
The punch line is funny, but the question remains: why did Brother Hans choose the life he did if he was not capable of profiting by it, if all that he was interested in were his personal comforts?Like him, we often find ourselves complaining about things when all we really have to do is let go and take advantage of what the world has to offer.
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Monday, October 31, 2005
Angel Is Most Beautiful Mum-To-Be 2005
On 7 May 2005, our Dreams Inc product testimonial, Angel was crowned Most Beautiful Mum-To-Be 2005 at Plaza Singapura at a contest held jointly by Capitaland and OSIM.I never thought I would be a beauty queen!
For Angel, the thought of becoming a beauty queen has never crossed her mind.
“I used to be plump and tried so many ways to lose weight. At my most heavy, I was 75kg and I am only 1.65m tall. Wearing a bikini was something I would NEVER do, not to mention taking part in a beauty contest!”
Lost 15kg in 2 months AND maintained it for 3 years!
But after she discovered a complete health detox in 2002, our fantastic product testimonial lost 15kg within 2 months and changed from a hefty 70kg to a svelte 55kg.
“I think weight loss is easy and achievable. What is most difficult is maintenance!” But with the help of some health foods, Angel says she has continued to maintain her shape and figure for the past 3 years!
Her secret to winning the title
So what’s her secret to winning? Says Angel, “I won the contest with a lot of support from my friends and associates. Especially the outstanding cheerleading team from Rich n Yang!”
Asked if the particular detox products helped, her enthusiastic reply was, “Of course!”
VP and IF helps to keep her radiant “I take 80-100 VP and 1 IF everyday and that is how I maintain my vitality and radiance throughout my pregnancy…. In fact, my fellow contestants keep asking me how I keep myself so full of energy because many of them whose tummy are even smaller than mine are feeling lethargic all the time while I am jumping around and telling jokes… My sponsor keeps complimenting on my radiant skin too!”
Her secret to a healthy baby and an easy pregnancy
To a mother, the health of her baby is also vital. According to Angel, those particular products also helped to keep her baby healthy without any need for her to take additional supplements from the doctor. Perhaps this is also why she has a relatively easy pregnancy.
Drinking filtered water and with its use together with a good fiber product, Angel claims that she does not suffer from constipation like most pregnant women.
“Active use of a good mask also helped my skin to glow positively throughout the contest… No unsightly break outs, no food cravings… and I think all these make my husband very happy.”
Well, looks like she takes care of herself well and will have not problem going back to her slim, svelte self after delivery.
PS: Angel has since delivered to a healthy baby boy on 25 June 2005. You can read more about her son HERE.
Return to MAIN.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Reality is just a point of view
Two students standing beneath the flagpole of the faculty building were engaged in a heated debate.
"But can't you see that it's the wind that is really moving and, in its movement, making the flag curl and flap?"
"You are mistaken," the second student replied, "because you cannot see the wind. How then can you conclude that it is making the flag move?"
A philosophy professor who happened to be passing by decided to interrupt the conversation. He approached the two students, took a draw on his pipe and said, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but have you ever considered the following argument: it is your mind that both flaps and moves."
What did the professor mean?
Was he offering a solution to the problem of the two students?
Yes, in the form of a profound truth: nothing is as we see it, because our minds create everything that we see, at the moment we see it. As such, there is no other reality than our self.
This theory, called a solipsism, is doubly useful. On the one hand it protects us against faulty appearances.
On the other, it indicates a path to self knowledge. That's because if my mind affects everything (is, in fact, everything) then studying what is real is the same as studying my own being
"Reality is just a point of view." Philip K. Dick
................................................................................
Dreams Inc DEFINITELY CAN HELP. We dream, We CHANGE LIVES. Contact us at verityy@yahoo.com and let us know how we can help you!:P
"But can't you see that it's the wind that is really moving and, in its movement, making the flag curl and flap?"
"You are mistaken," the second student replied, "because you cannot see the wind. How then can you conclude that it is making the flag move?"
A philosophy professor who happened to be passing by decided to interrupt the conversation. He approached the two students, took a draw on his pipe and said, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but have you ever considered the following argument: it is your mind that both flaps and moves."
................................................................................
What did the professor mean?
Was he offering a solution to the problem of the two students?
Yes, in the form of a profound truth: nothing is as we see it, because our minds create everything that we see, at the moment we see it. As such, there is no other reality than our self.
This theory, called a solipsism, is doubly useful. On the one hand it protects us against faulty appearances.
On the other, it indicates a path to self knowledge. That's because if my mind affects everything (is, in fact, everything) then studying what is real is the same as studying my own being
"Reality is just a point of view." Philip K. Dick
................................................................................
Note from Angel: I watched a movie called What the BLEEP do we know and it invited many scholars and academics to prove solipsism! ;) It is REAL ok! THey conducted a study where they had people look at the movement of a ball and they tracked their brain waves when that happened. Then they asked these people to imagine it happening and tracked their brain waves and the results is the same.. WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS WHAT YOU WILL 'SEE'!
Do you have a DREAM to fulfill?
Do you need help to BELIEVE that you can fulfill it..
Or maybe you do believe BUT NEED TO FIND A WAY?
Dreams Inc DEFINITELY CAN HELP. We dream, We CHANGE LIVES. Contact us at verityy@yahoo.com and let us know how we can help you!:P
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Prosperity Doesn't Mean Limitless Spending
For many people, old feelings of deprivation stimulate theurge to buy whatever they want in the moment.
This type of impulse buying often covers up feelings, just as overeating,drinking, or using drugs can do. Unfortunately, the shopping high doesn't last, especially when the bills come in.
People who struggle financially often think that being wealthy means being able to buy whatever you want. The fact is, those who manage to build individual fortunes usually exercise considerable spending restraint and choose instead to put disposable income aside. That's what builds surplus!
I know people with rather limited incomes who enjoy their lives and never feel deprived. They make conscious decisions about how they want to spend their money and put money aside for entertainment and trips. They also have an emergency fund.
At the same time, I know people who make substantial incomes--well over $200,000 a year, yet they feel limited and deprived because their want list is huge and no matter how many things they buy, they still want more.
One of the secrets to living a prosperous life is learning to experience the feeling of satisfaction. If you don't know how to do this, you'll always be dissatisfied with what you have and what life brings you. To learn the experience of satisfaction:
1. Think about something that satisfies you. It can be abeautiful sunset, being with someone you like, walking your dog, sitting outside on a beautiful day, looking at the stars, or anything else. It doesn't have to be anything grand. Simple and satisfying is fine.
2. Close your eyes and breath deeply while you allow the feeling of satisfaction to fill all of your cells. Try to identify the feeling of satisfaction in your body. As you do this, repeat to yourself, 'I am satisfied.'
3. Write out the words 'I am satisfied' and place them where you can see them often. When something happens during the daythat feels good to you, say, 'I am satisfied,' and allow yourself to experience the feeling. If the critical voice inyour head tries to negate your satisfaction, tell it, 'Thanksfor sharing, but we are satisfied at this moment.
'4. If you find yourself grumbling a lot about what isn't rightin your life, take a moment and think about something that satisfies you. If nothing does, then do something to change that! It's not the world that isn't working, it's the way you are looking at it.
Do you want to learn how to manage your wealth? Do you want to know how to build a wealth package to ensure prosperity for your future generations? Email Dreams Inc at verityy@yahoo.com.
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This type of impulse buying often covers up feelings, just as overeating,drinking, or using drugs can do. Unfortunately, the shopping high doesn't last, especially when the bills come in.
People who struggle financially often think that being wealthy means being able to buy whatever you want. The fact is, those who manage to build individual fortunes usually exercise considerable spending restraint and choose instead to put disposable income aside. That's what builds surplus!
I know people with rather limited incomes who enjoy their lives and never feel deprived. They make conscious decisions about how they want to spend their money and put money aside for entertainment and trips. They also have an emergency fund.
At the same time, I know people who make substantial incomes--well over $200,000 a year, yet they feel limited and deprived because their want list is huge and no matter how many things they buy, they still want more.
One of the secrets to living a prosperous life is learning to experience the feeling of satisfaction. If you don't know how to do this, you'll always be dissatisfied with what you have and what life brings you. To learn the experience of satisfaction:
1. Think about something that satisfies you. It can be abeautiful sunset, being with someone you like, walking your dog, sitting outside on a beautiful day, looking at the stars, or anything else. It doesn't have to be anything grand. Simple and satisfying is fine.
2. Close your eyes and breath deeply while you allow the feeling of satisfaction to fill all of your cells. Try to identify the feeling of satisfaction in your body. As you do this, repeat to yourself, 'I am satisfied.'
3. Write out the words 'I am satisfied' and place them where you can see them often. When something happens during the daythat feels good to you, say, 'I am satisfied,' and allow yourself to experience the feeling. If the critical voice inyour head tries to negate your satisfaction, tell it, 'Thanksfor sharing, but we are satisfied at this moment.
'4. If you find yourself grumbling a lot about what isn't rightin your life, take a moment and think about something that satisfies you. If nothing does, then do something to change that! It's not the world that isn't working, it's the way you are looking at it.
Do you want to learn how to manage your wealth? Do you want to know how to build a wealth package to ensure prosperity for your future generations? Email Dreams Inc at verityy@yahoo.com.
Return to MAIN
Thursday, October 27, 2005
PINK PARTY KICKS OFF HUB OPENING!
27 October signified a new start for all Rich n Yang assoc (of which Dreams Inc is a subsidiary).
They have since expanded and moved on to their new HUB (Cafe, Office, Spa.. all in one building!)
Check out the PINK PARTY they held for the soft launch of the hub!
Posing proudly with 'Opening' Poster
Signing in....
Max Tay the MC...
Dr George Lim, Mentor/Partner
Head honcho, Richie
Other mentors/partners
Opening Ceremony...
Popping Champagne...
Best Dressed Couple
Most Sexy Pink Lady!
Best Dressed Pink Lady!
Most PINK Party Animal..
Sure to win lah!
Other partners of RnY
Back to Main
They have since expanded and moved on to their new HUB (Cafe, Office, Spa.. all in one building!)
Check out the PINK PARTY they held for the soft launch of the hub!
Posing proudly with 'Opening' Poster
Signing in....
Max Tay the MC...
Dr George Lim, Mentor/Partner
Head honcho, Richie
Other mentors/partners
Opening Ceremony...
Popping Champagne...
Best Dressed Couple
Most Sexy Pink Lady!
Best Dressed Pink Lady!
Most PINK Party Animal..
Sure to win lah!
Other partners of RnYBack to Main
Friday, October 21, 2005
A Piece of Cake!
Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?"
Here's a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple of raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"
To which the mother replies, "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
Life works the same way. Many times we wonder why we have to go through such
bad and difficult times, not being able to envision our greater surroundings. All things work together for a common good.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
Hope your day is a "piece of cake!"
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